GBDURO21: Reflecting on what could have been

At around 3am I rolled into John O’ Groats, and touched the signpost that marks the end of the GBDURO route. Instead of the joyful moment that I had visualized countless times in my head over the last two years I felt a flurry of mixed emotions. Despite the fact that I had completed the distance in over two hours less than record time I knew that it would not stand as the last 230km were covered on a borrowed bike. I had spent the last two hours with this in the back of my mind and had just about come to terms with it. For me there is no better vehicle for aiding reflection than riding my (or anyone else's) bike. Over these two hours I had covered a spectrum of emotions from rage to a deep rooted sadness. This processing time eventually led me to the realisation of what had happened and that I was not going to let the past few hours define my ride.  

My goal going into this year’s GBDURO was simple: to win the event. I arrived at the start line knowing that I was on the best form of my life having recently won the PanCelticRace and setting power PBs almost weekly. As a result of my involvement in the organisation of the race I was privy to knowing who my main competition were likely to be which helped calm my nerves a little. Having said that I cannot recall a build up to an event where I have ever felt so much pressure. This was twofold as I wanted the event to run smoothly without a hitch but also I felt an extraordinary pressure to perform. Most likely this was put upon myself but one can’t underestimate the role that social media and those around you contribute to this. The constant encouragement and positive feedback only worsens this as it leads to the fear of disappointing not just yourself but others. 

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of 45 unsuspecting riders, some of them already friends, others were soon to be and yet more I wish that I was able to spend more time to get to know. The brief was short and soon the race started. Stage one was 638km and finished in mid Wales. I had a clear plan when it came to stopping and pacing, go out hard to build a gap then then keep the tempo up to maintain it by only stopping when absolutely necessary. I had earmarked two locations to resupply. One after 200km at Greater Torrington and the other in Usk around 450km in. I stuck to this plan by the letter and arrived at the CP in just under 36 hours with less than 20mins stopped time. This was over four hours quicker than two years ago despite the added 90 mins or so of riding due to the route changes. What this meant was that I had a nine hour lead over my closest competitor so I only needed to ride defensively to take home the victory. 

The checkpoint was a delight with Daf and Gail providing for my every need and as more and more riders arrived the buzz increased and the stories were flowing. This is the essence of GBDURO and what makes the event unique. There is little I like more that sitting down with people and having a good natter and as there is nothing else to do it allows you to really explore some important topics from the climate emergency to inclusivity in the sport. 36 hours passed in the blink of an eye and we were soon off again on leg two; In my mind the hardest of the four.  

Once more I kept the tempo up and the pressure on the pedals tapping away up the steep climbs of north Wales and along the flats of Cheshire. A quick resupply in Manchester at 10pm and I pressed on into the night as the rain closed in. What came next was perhaps the moment that defined my ride whilst climbing up to Rooley Moor in the pouring rain in the middle of the night I checked the time and realised that I was around 20 mins up on Lachlan’s split from two years prior. The motivation that this gave me was phenomenal, suddenly I was wide awake and my legs were filled with energy. With the rain coming in and the most technical part of the course ahead I felt a huge amount of encouragement and the power of all of those hours of training kicking in. “Now we are talking. this is where I make my mark on the race” I was truly on top of the world this was only bolstered by the appearance of some 3am Dotwatchers in the arse-end of nowhere on the Pennine Bridleway. 

This sense of power stayed with me for the remainder of the ride. Surprisingly I felt nothing as I passed the spot where it all fell apart for me last year. Perhaps a sign that I had finally conquered those demons and come to terms with the failure of last year. I kept pressing on and arrived at the checkpoint 45mins faster than the previous record. Between the chatting and drinking (thanks Magic Rock), I had time to collect my thoughts. I was 2hrs40mins down overall and I knew that Lachlan needed a sleep on the next stage. All of a sudden my goal had evolved from winning to setting the record; I knew it would be tough but also there was a chance that it was achievable. I set out the following day with some splits that I wanted to hit saved on my phone as well as a key resupply station.

I pushed hard over Kielder Forest and across the border into Scotland wanting to make the Falkirk wheel before the tunnel closed at 8pm. I got there with time to spare so ploughed through Stirling and hit the Co-op in Bridge of Allan for the supermarket sweep making sure that I had enough calories to see me through to the end of the stage. The rain was relentless and the visibility poor which was such a shame as this was one of the most stunning parts of the route and a shame that I had to pass through it all at night. Despite the odd dark moment I found myself at the foot of the infamous Corrieyairack Pass when the sun did come up. Low gearing meant that this time the whole pass was rideable and it was a joy to roll down the otherside compared to two years ago when I walked for three hours. When I eventually rolled into FA I was a shell of a person but I had taken over five hours of the previous record and set me in good stead for the overall. At the checkpoint we were greeted with stovies, oatcakes, irn-bru, Tennents and single malt whiskey; a more Scottish welcome I could not have asked for. I had almost 48 hours now to rest up and recover and prepare for the final push to JOG. With a few friendly faces arriving to help pass the time my recovery went perfectly and I woke early on the morning of the final stage pumped to ride my bike but with that all too familiar sense of pressure and nervousness looming over me. 

Once again I had prepared splits so I knew If I was on pace or not. Overall I had two and a half hours to lose if necessary. For once the sun was finally out I was able to enjoy the best that Scotland has to offer. I was having one of the best days on the bike that I can remember, flying across the country and hitting all necessary splits. A 5 min stop at the iconic Contin Stores was my final resupply for the remaining 300km. All was going to plan and when I arrived at Croick I was already an hour up on Lach. Not long after this however the worst happened. A mechanical which I couldn't repair myself. The freehub was not working, the cranks could spin both ways and there was little I could do. All I could to at this stage was to push and scoot my way along until I found some civilization. 

After about an hour of pushing I see a rider approaching me. A holiday maker in the area who was out on his bike. He knew of the race but was planning on riding anyway so he stopped to ask if I am ok. I explain that my bike is buggered and he very kindly offered to lend me his to get to the finish. We rolled down to his car at the Oykel bridge where the Media crew were coincidentally waiting for me. I swap over the vast majority of my kit to the borrowed bike and head on my way. Counting myself lucky that I happened upon such a wonderful stranger who was willing to help me out. At no point in this process did I think that I was doing anything wrong as I was accepting help from the kindness of strangers. If he were not there I would have tried a little more to fix the hub (In reality the issue was more than likely fixable) or knocked on some doors for help, perhaps calling a “local” bikeshop (around 50km) to see if they could send something in a taxi. However, I saw a quick and easy fix and went for it. 

The next 200km passed in the blink of an eye, I was pressing on and still determined to set the record. I had seen that the swap was noted by the commissars on an instagram story and seemingly allowed. I pushed through the cold night rationing out my final chunk of marzipan to get me to the finish. It was around 1am when I found out that I had been disqualified. Cue the rush of emotions and sense of powerlessness explained before. I won’t go into too much detail about the reasons behind the decision other than that I can now see the point that was being made. Honestly, I can think of 101 reasons why I can stand by what I did but when it boils down to it I probably would have made the same call if I had been on the other end of the process. I would now argue that as the sport grows these races can never be truly self-supported. A cheer from the side of the road from a local fan can offer support to someone when they are down or a text from a loved one can likewise motivate you. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I should have slowed down to think about the situation. 

I would be lying if I were to say that I was not devastated by the news. This goal had been the focus of my training for the past couple of years and it was seemingly taken away from me. I can however draw a great deal of happiness from how I rode the race. In the past I have all too easily been drawn up in the outcome of events that I neglect the importance of the process. I am a much faster, more experienced racer than I was two years ago and I will continue to race to the best of my ability. It must also be said that I was overwhelmed by the people out on the route. Thank you to everyone who came out to “support” the event and I hope that this incident won't discourage anyone from coming out or helping anyone in need. At the end of the day I had an amazing 11 days riding across stunning countryside with the best people. I am determined to not let the final 10 hours define the two year long process of getting to the finish.

Also a huge thanks to all who helped make the race happen especially Ed and Miles at the Racing Collective but also all of those who helped at the checkpoints Daf, Gail, Ceri, James, Stu, Lewis, Lily, Nick and the rest. Also thanks to Niall and Tedde for the timing and Chris for the commentary that kept everyone going. I also wouldn’t be in the place place where I am today without the support of my friends and sponsors at Mason, HUNT, dhb and Rawvelo as  well as my coach Brad. Thanks for their continued support. One final thanks goes to Megan for putting up with me through my training day in day out :) 

People keep on asking me what is next. Regardless of the outcome of the event I had always planned to spend the winter focussing on my running specifically targeting the Marathon distance with a goal of hitting the elusive sub 2:20. Its going to be tough but I think that it will be a solid goal. I will continue to train on the bike as well and have several races planned for the 2022 summer season. 

Thanks to Machiek Tommycheck @oxfordatelier for the beautiful imagery